I should be getting ready to go out
but no question about it I'm sat here blogging oh i wonder why

Why is it that some people have some crazy fucked up dreams?
It confuses hell out of me how people can believe that all these impossibilities are going to be their future.
Least I call it impossible since none of them seem to make an effort to achieve their goals.
Fame isn't something you just one day wake up with, is it?
And how is that even a future, everybody knowing who you are?
how can you be known for having no talent?

It gets rather irritating when you're around people who are trying to fill you with all their dreams of such great things and how they reckon that's their futurue.

I have probably one friend who inspires me at the moment. He's studying to become a science teacher and he's proper intelligent. but not only that he has the most amazing funny personality to go along with that. I wish I could be like that. Well I know I can be if I study hard, which is what I'm going to do. When I spend time with him I'm just full of a million and one ideas that are all realistic and achievable. It's insane 'cos when I'm with me "best friends" I never get that, I'm just filled with their idea of reality which is pretty insane.

Anyway I best go get ready since I'm meeting Jason in 15 minutes and I'm no way ready

in abit

oh um if you wanna contact me
tw4t@live.com
myspace.com/_tw4t

I'm always on those :]

xxx

I'm in such a shit mood at the moment.
I actually can't find a reason anymore.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.
So much for things taking time, how much time does it take, it's been more than 6 months.
I just wanna scream out.

I went to a gig the other night with a few friends. I had a good night, some really stupid stuff happened. Some tw4t decided to make up a load of bullshit about what happened, I think I really am bad at judging people these days, just another cunt. I got a bit drunk and well I guess some of the people I was with, brought back memories, made me miss so much. Then I got horrible images in my head and just took a walk. It's a shame that bitch had to make things worse, last time she comes out with us.

School's totally shit at the minute, I can't find a good enough reason to go. I don't look forward to weekends anymore. I'm sick to death of being treated like shit, I'm sick of being used, hurt and feeling fucking useless. I wondered why I feel like I only have the one real friend today. And I barely see him, why doesn't anybody else care and understand like he does? Everyone at school's gone totally stupid, it almost seems like I'm the only person without all these crazy fucked up ideas.

I opened up to somebody today, Keighley. I tried to tell her how I felt about stuff, but I just broke down, I just wanted to scream. I don't belong anywhere anymore. I actually feel like the only thing I'm holding on to is the thought of getting good grades and making myself a future.

Call me self centered, a drama queen etc. My parents told me the other night they wish they'd never had me. They actually have no time for me anymore, it's all my brother - because he's so retarded he needs so much attention all the time, otherwise he kicks off stupidly..

To go along with all this I've had a skin infection thing for over 8 weeks now. I'm back a forth to hospital, I'm awaiting an appointment with a dermatologist so that he can finally tell me what's wrong. I've been on more than 8 lots of anti biotics. It's annoying as fuck. I missed loads of school. The doctors scared the fuck out of me tbh, I was sent for so many scans they were telling me it could have been allsorts of different diseases etc. Not one of the fucking doctors was english. Whilst in hospital a man died next to me, it scared the shit out of me.

I broke up with my boyfriend last weekend, mainly because I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. I guess I'm scared of getting hurt, and the only was to avoid that, is to avoid being with anybody.

Sophie!
x

My name is Sophie Louise
I am 16 years old and I live in a village on the outskirts of Lincoln, UK
Not much goes on here.
I am not in a relationship, I'm sort of taking a break from them, my last one ended quite badly and left me in a difficult state, however I'm near enough over that.

I tend to spend a lot of my time on the internet, or with my head down working on coursework
I am in my final year at school, I hope to leave with outstanding grades - this way I can look back and feel proud of the achievements I make.

At the weekends I spend the majority of time with my friends. We usually hang around in the city centre "chillin" like most teenagers.

I have a family. In general there aren't many problems within my family. My brother however (James 12) can rather irritating but as I mature, he bothers me less .
My Mom is pretty  much amazing, she does everything for me, she helps a lot.
My Dad can be quite mardy however he's hilarious

I have a pet dog, he's called Harry, he's a black labrador. He has an obsession with peoples shoes and clothes basically anything he can get his paws onto

I have some quite amazing friends, they deserve a mention;
Merecedes - she'd be the best girl friend, Keighley - I spend the majority of lessons at school with her, we do nothing but mess about!  Nichola - She'd be the girl I have some pretty serious conversations with . 
Jason - he's pretty much amazing, best friend you could wish for tbh, basically perfection.
And then we have the others;
Dan, Daniel, Dee, Lauren, Liam, Sam,Yazi, Zara,

My taste in music is apparently terrible. I have been told that by too many people on too many occasions.
The films I'm really liking lately are I am legend - however shit the effects were. 28 days & weeks later, All three of the Resident Evil films, Enchanted, Ps... i love you, Over her dead body and of course, one of my all time favourites, the Butterfly Effect!

Whilst I'm online here, I'll post entries on various subject, most of these will no doubt be related to my life, or just general opinions

Sophie!